Today, I have class at 1. Timecheck... 10:45. I'm trying to estimate how much time I'd take to get ready. Fuck that, I'll get ready at 12. Ha ha.

What I am to rant about in a few words away is how I realised how my blockmates have such shallow restraint for laughter. (If you are Ram, Joc, AJ, or other people I've rant to about this, you may leave.)

Anyway, as I was saying. I myself know that I have no sense of humour, rather, no ability to make other people laugh through jokes. But apparently, even my comments make my blockmates laugh. At times I would think, 'Are these people bullshitting me?' Then again, hey, I might actually have that sense of humour I lacked a few years back. Nevertheless, I find it incredible. They laugh at me when I speak in tagalog, 'Ay ganun, kala ko totoong buhok.' (one of my teachers wear a wig), or when I make comments that weren't even meant to make them laugh. Then again, to make other people laugh were never a purpose of mine. I'd make them smile, sure. But laugh?

Enough about my classblockmates' laughter.

I have another hour to go til' I get ready. So I better make the most of it.

Then again, I don't have internet. Rather, princess (this girl Li and I steal internet from) isn't around. Hee.

I am somewhat disappointed at my Journalism class. Apparently, we won't be doing any writing. But instead, we will be blogging. Apparently, ang mga teachers ngayon ay napaka tamad. So they'd rather not check papers and read blogs instead. Well, way to maximise the internet. But really, blogging at multiply? Fuck, I don't even know how to use it. Well, the thing about blogging and typing stuff via internet is that I really like to cuss. It's basically the only way I'm able to express myself--because my classmates are all from the Philippines and most of them from the province, so I think they might find American profanity a wee bit too... heavy? What's that word again?

Anyway, things have been such a mess for me lately. What ever is happening around me is influencing every thing I do. I used to believe that I don't let myself get influenced by anything unless I let them/it. But right now, that's not the case.

Ever felt like you're not in control of your life anymore? Like you're just a puppet on strings being manipulated by life. It's as if you're just sitting there, watching everything happen. Perhaps it could be an advantage. This way you wouldn't need to think, 'shit, what to do next?' You're simply just observing how life is going to deal things for you.

It's like falling in love. Sometimes, when you let life deal with love (going with the flow as the fucktards on marijuana say it), you end up falling for the wrong person at the wrong time. Because when you let 'life' lead your life, things won't happen the way you'd want it to be. Be stubborn, and disagree with me, but think about it, you 'go with the flow', and the outcome reveals itself, sometimes you just end up agreeing with the situation and telling your mind that that is how you wanted things to be. OK na lang ng OK. Despite the fact that these weren't how you wanted things to be. Maybe you're just really that good at acceptance.

Or perhaps 'going with the flow' what ever the outcome may be is how you really did want things to be. If that's the case, get the fuck away from me, because I'd rather associate myself with people who take control of their fucking lives.

Yeah, I started the blog about how I've lost control of my life, etc. But after writing this entry, I thought twice. This is just another obstacle. Either way, I know myself better than any of you retards who are judging me by my writing. It's just an obstacle, I'll get through it. And you should too.

I'm not here for an argument, these are just my two cents for the day.

But if you really need to express your anger or if I've offended you in any-fucking-way, then IM me at scandaledeminuit@yahoo.com. (without the period at the end, okay, Einstein?)

Think twice.