As soon as I left Wendy's, I've been coughing non-stop. On the positive side, since I can feel (and taste) phlegm, at least I know I don't have AH1N1.

I finally found my own clique. Desa--this pretty girl from my class, Jehlaine--a somewhat-lesbian, Kumiko--the person I've always hung out with, and Cookie--this ball of happiness and is really like Marnie (from St. Scho).

Desa, Jehlaine, Kumiko, Evan--this guy who apparently likes me (ha ha), and I ate at Wendy's for dinner. Fuck, we found out that the baked potato cost motherfucking 90 pesos. (BEFORE I CLEARLY REMEMBER IT WAS WAAAAAAAAAY CHEAPER.) Either way, I got a cheeseburger, a baked potato, and yeah, a drink. Fuck this, to make things short, I had dinner with them.

Tonight, I had a good, long cry. Funny thing is, at first I didn't even know why. I just thought, hey, since Mrs. Badar went out to pick Li up at school, why don't I start flooding the apartment with all the heavy emotions I've been having troubles with since last night. I cried, really loud. You know when you open your mouth and you start crying out loud? Yeah. Surprisingly, I didn't even let out a single cuss.

I was told by a friend today, "I feel like mom expects too much from me. Like she needs me and bro to grow up quickly because life is hard and perseverance is the key and you can't just think about yourself because other people care about you and you can't be selfish enough to just do the things you want."

And although I don't have a sibling, I can relate. My mum and I left japan at a very early age. She had a career back then and then married another man, but the asshole kicked us out and here she is, groveling for a job, unemployed for almost a year, and living off our savings. Thankfully, we still manage.

But the point is that my mother has been playing two roles, a mother and a father. And this is why I look up to my mother so much, why I try my best to pacify and understand her during her unbelievably annoying mood swings. So happy father's day, Mum. You deserve it all. :)

Deny it or not, believe me or not, it's human instinct to feel better when someone else tells you a worse story than your situation. It makes you feel fucking grateful of what you have. It's just like saying, "Fuck, I got no allowance today." but the kids out there, squatting in the murky streets of Manila, do they even get allowance? It's not feeling good at other people's misery, no, it's learning how to be grateful of what you have.

I hope that even if this entry wasn't as spectacular than my other posts, you'd still find it inspiring in a 'fuck-I'm-fucking-inspired' way. Ha ha.

And before I bid my tonight's farewell, I shall show you a video I sent to my YM list last night which apparently none of you fuckers watched.

Think twice.